


Lost without You

by Lyrishadow



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29897331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrishadow/pseuds/Lyrishadow
Summary: When you are all your love thinks about but it has been a long time.Scars we have .. physical and mental... kiss away them all.(Egan Shepard and Kaidan Alenko finally get some room to breathe just after the Normandy gets back to Earth)
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Kudos: 3





	Lost without You

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short reply to a Tumblr prompt :)

“Kaidan?  
Kaidan Alenko rolled over to look at Egan Shepard who was sound asleep. Raised his eyebrow once and rolled back to where he had been contemplating life quietly on his own side of the king-size bed in what was left of a hotel, someplace on what had once been the outskirts of Vancouver. They had shared a bed, but Egan was frail still, and Kaidan had been afraid of breaking him - something that kept them from fooling around too much.  
“Kaid…?” Egan’s tone was desperate now and Kaidan moved so he was able to reach out and carefully touch the sleeping soldier.  
“I’m here.”  
“It’s so flipping dark under all this stuff, and I can’t feel my leg and I can’t feel…” Egan was deep in a dream, a memory maybe? Kaidan knew where Egan was; that he hadn’t been there then bought a pang of impossible guilt to him.  
“I’m here.” He said closer to Egan’s ear this time.  
“Kaid…” Egan kept talking in his dream, or was it a memory that he was trapped in this time? Kaidan often had a hard time telling where the fiction and reality separated in the two, and often the crap Egan had seen, the reality was weirder than the fiction anyhow. “I think you will have to write my name on the wall…. Be stronger this time. Your … writing was sloppy.”  
The first part made the breath catch in Kaidan’s throat. After every death of a crewmate, or someone close, they vowed to write names on a concrete block stuck on a hill above Vancouver. Egan had been there when Kaidan had found him on the Normandy’s return to the earth; the last part made Kaidan laugh. It also made him realize it was… part memory and part dream.  
“Egan, wake up.” Kaidan whispered, “I have you and you aren’t dying anywhere.”  
“Kaid?” a confused Egan, which proved more normal when Kaidan woke him in the middle of the night from his dreams and nightmares.  
“Yeah, another dream.” Kaidan murmured soothingly, “Come here.”  
“Sorry.”Egan muttered attempting to pull away “I always wake you up.”  
“No. Not always don’t be silly Egan, come here.”  
“Kaidan, you…”  
Kaidan sighed, standing he moved around the bed and sat down next to Egan who had his head in his hands.  
“You were on the citadel.” Kaidan replied, “Then alone on earth.”  
“I thought you were dead,” Egan replied hoarsely, trying to bury the hurt that came from the dream. “I … was lost…”  
“I see. Is that why I found you alone at the monument?”  
“It’s why I didn’t tell anyone.” Egan sighed “Between bone knitters and medi-gel healing my physical wounds, you would think we had developed gene therapy and knitters for the mental too.”  
“I know.” Kaidan sighed, because he still carried the pain of the first time Egan died, and thinking the man he loved beyond measure was dead again had been impossible.  
“I’m sorry you have to put up with me.”Egan hung his head, his hands gripping the side of the bed, “I don’t feel particularly strong right now.”  
“Egan.”  
“I don’t want to drag you…”  
“Egan look at me.”  
Egan looked up into the eyes of the man he adored, almost wishing he had remained anchored in his resolved to let him go - one look and he was fifteen thinking this man was beautiful.  
“You remind me of being young and in love.” Egan sighed “Cheater.”  
“I am in love.” Kaidan laughed “With you.”  
“I know.” Egan’s reply was honest, as he bought his large hand up to trace the side of Kiadan’s jaw “And I love you - more than words can ever describe.”  
“So stop trying to give me an out.” Kaidan stood and moved to in front of Egan, a cheeky grin on his face “It’s my line anyhow.”  
“That and ‘I lied, I didn’t just come for a shot of whiskey’” Egan quoted, an easy smile replacing his worried frown; easy to have when Kaidan was there.  
“That too. “ Kaidan leaned against Egan pushing him back into the bed.  
“Kaid.” This time Egan’s voice was huskier, and his dark brown eyes were staring at Kaidan, a mix of fear and admiration.  
“Egan we can go slow… I know this is the first since…” Kaidan found himself kissed “I came back, but please take off that (another kiss) god-awful shirt”  
Egan snorted but hesitated as well.  
“You haven’t seen the scars.”  
“Like I care if there are scars. You could be a puzzle and I would kiss every single one.” Kaidan replied earnestly “Egan Shepard, I love you, having you back… is...more important to me than I can say.”  
Egan slowly removed his shirt  
“Tease.” Kaidan slid his hand underneath the shirt as Egan pulled it off, rewarded with the same firm muscles he was used to, the same Egan he loved. Better yet his touch elicited a low moan from his partner.  
“Hmmm” Kaidan responded leaning over Eagan “Do we do this with our ranks, that means I am in charge.”  
“You always were in the bedroom.” Egan laughed  
“Shhhh lie back,” Kaid replied, grinning again.


End file.
